


Binders and Cookies

by nauticalwarrior



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, most fluff tho lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 04:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6839035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nauticalwarrior/pseuds/nauticalwarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Antonio hasn't told Lovino yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Binders and Cookies

**Author's Note:**

> Why did I write this I'm so busy all the time??? Anyways, here's a bit of fluff cause I love me some spamano and I love acceptance so ye

A knock on the door startles Antonio out of his thoughts, and he jumps at least three feet in the air. He scrambles towards the door, before hesitating in front of it. He’s not wearing his binder! He peers through the peep hole, only to see, to his dismay, Lovino, standing there with a definite scowl on his face and one hand shoved deep in his pocket. The other one raps on the door, harder this time, and loud in Antonio’s ears.

 

“Hurry up, bastard! It’s fucking freezing out here!” Lovino’s voice, coupled with his knocking, send Antonio into a flurry of nervous energy.

 

“Wait a moment, por favor! I’m not dressed!” Antonio races into his bedroom and begins to search furiously through his laundry basket of clean clothes. Does he have a clean binder? He washed them yesterday, he’s sure of it? Yet, he can’t seem to find it among his t-shirts and jeans and- is that it? Antonio triumphantly holds up the white fabric, only to realize that it’s a pair of briefs, and definitely not his binder.

 

“How long can it take your spanish ass to put a shirt on? Hurry the fuck up!” Lovino’s voice, muffled by the walls between them, spurs Antonio’s panic into new levels. 

 

“Lo siento, Lovi! I can’t remember where I put my laundry!” It’s not completely a lie; he still can’t find his damn binder. Antonio looks under his bed, desperation increasing by the moment. He can’t let Lovino find out this way! Eventually he’ll have to be honest, but they’ve only been on two dates! And Lovi is catholic! Really, really catholic! Antonio is too, but... it’s different when you’re the trans one. And even though they’ve been friends for a long time already... what if Lovi doesn’t understand?

 

“Get your ass to this door, clothes or no clothes, or I’m leaving!” Antonio doesn’t reply to Lovino, hot tears running down his cheeks. Lovino doesn’t even  _ know _ and this stupid gender bullshit is ruining everything and- There it is, underneath his beanbag chair along with a pair of Gilbert’s sunglasses. Antonio all but rips his shirt off, putting on his binder in record time. As he rushes to the door, he puts the shirt back on, and nearly rips the door off it’s handles. Lovino is definitely still there, his face red and arms folded across his chest angrily.

 

“Bastardo! I can’t believe this...” Lovino trails off, instead staring at Antonio with wide eyes. “...bullshit?” It comes out as more of a question as Lovino reaches out with one hand, gently wiping a tear off of Antonio’s cheek.

 

“L-lo siento, Lovi! I-”

 

“Shut up. Why are you crying?” Lovino is glaring at Antonio, but Antonio is pretty sure this is his worried glare, and not his angry glare. He offers a small smile.

 

“It is not important! Come, come, I made mantecados! I know it isn’t Christmas, but I was really in the mood for them!” Antonio knows his voice is shaky, and even as more tears well up, he tried his best to smile. Why is he still upset? He found his binder, Lovi’s here and only sort of mad, crisis averted. And he’s crying, tears running down his cheeks, shaking like a leaf, even though nothing’s wrong anymore.

 

“Idiota. If it’s making you cry like this, it’s definitely important.” Lovi wraps an arm around Antonio and gently guides him into his own apartment. The two of them walk into the living room, where Lovino tugs Antonio onto the couch. Antonio stares anywhere but Lovino’s face, looking at the floor, the walls, the platter of cookies resting on the coffee table in front of him. Do any of the cookies wish they were cake instead? Has he done them the same disservice his body has done him? If he were to crush the cookie up and mix it with milk, butter, and baking soda, could the cookie be a real cake? Or is it doomed forever, unable to ever be perfect? Antonio feels his face tugging down into a frown, and he wipes the tears away from his eyes. He’s crying over cookies now. Great.

 

Lovino nudges him gently. “Toni, if something’s wrong, you should tell me.” Antonio can hear the concern in his voice, and he’s surprised to not hear any of the normal vitriol and swearing. 

 

He sighs. “I didn’t want to tell you like this.” And it’s true. He wanted to tell Lovino over a romantic dinner, or late at night while they were cuddling. He wanted to turn to Lovino and say it. He wanted Lovino to smile and say he didn’t mind. He didn’t want it to be stained with tears, with him being an idiot and walking around without a binder when he  _ knew  _ Lovino was coming over. 

 

“Tell me what?” Something about Lovino’s voice seems off. Antonio look up at him and sees concern and  _ fear  _ on his features.

 

Antonio laughs lightly. “I’m not dying, Lovinito.” Lovino glares at him in response, but doesn’t say anything. This is it, then. “I’m, um,” He takes a deep breath and says it as a whisper. “I’m trans.” He squeezes his eyes shut, doesn’t look at Lovino. Waits for him to leave. Waits for the rejection, like always. 

 

“So?” Antonio looks up, surprised. Lovino doesn't look disgusted, doesn’t look angry. Just confused.

 

Antonio takes another deep breath, and realizes he’s crying again. Whoops. “I- I don’t have, um, a-” 

 

Lovino cuts him off. “Yes, I know what it means! Why are you crying, dumbass?” Lovino seems thoroughly bewildered, and Antonio doesn’t know whether to be happy or sad.

 

“When you got here, I couldn’t find my b-binder,” He pauses to wipe his face again, trying to keep his voice steady. “And you didn’t know yet, and I thought that you...” Antonio looks away again, only to jerk in surprise as Lovino grabs his face, gently turning Antonio to look at him.

 

“Are you dumb? You thought I’d leave you or some shit over  _ that? _ You’re an idiot, Toni.” Antonio stares into Lovino’s eyes, watching him as he seems to struggle to figure out what to say. “Feli’s trans too, idiota. I thought you knew already.” 

 

Antonio’s eyes widen in surprise, and he feels happiness welling up inside of him. Lovi and Feli are so close to each other,and Feli is trans! Lovino doesn’t mind! He doesn’t have time to think much more before Lovino pulls him into a kiss. Lovino is soft and gentle, his thumb wiping away remaining tears under Antonio’s left eye, and his other hand moving to pull Antonio closer. He melts into the kiss, leaning against Lovino, overcome with relief. 

  
Lovino pulls away gently. “Now, weren’t we going to eat some cookies?” Antonio laughs and smiles wide. He sees a small smile on Lovino’s face too, and everything feels right with the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, kudos, whatever please! I'm thirsty for attention hahahah.


End file.
